This past Friday, June 23rd, Nitehawk Cinema opened in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. On Saturday, June 24th, I went to Nitehawk Cinema for the first time. My life would never be the same.

You can probably already tell from the photos, but Nitehawk Cinema is an awesome place. It’s got a classy but not pretentious bar downstairs, separate from the theater, should you just want a tasty cocktail, and an additional bar upstairs outside the actual theaters, should you want to keep a close eye on the line to get into your screening. (No cutting!) Bars are great!

But that’s not the best thing about Nitehawk Cinema – the best thing about Nitehawk Cinema is that it makes going to a movie an enjoyable, pleasant experience instead of a quasi-nightmare in which you are charged $18.50 for a gallon of soda you didn’t even want and a pack of gummi bears that were manufactured by the criminally insane in 1982. At Nitehawk Cinema, you can pay $18.50 for stuff, but that stuff will be good stuff like Fish Tacos and/or Watermelon Salad and/or Cheese Empanadas.

You’re probably thinking, “Wow, those items sound like actual food! Things I might actually like to eat!” And you’re right – Nitehawk Cinema serves real food that you will enjoy eating, and on top of all that, they will bring it to you! In the theater! At a little table! There will be napkins and utensils! Like you are an actual human being! I can’t stress how wonderful this is, and at the same time, I can’t believe that it’s taken this long for a place like Nitehawk to arrive in Brooklyn.

You’re probably wondering, “How much does it cost to have a wonderful experience like this, one where I feel like an actual human being and not a chimp who just happens to enjoy movies?”

Well I’ll tell you! $11! $11 is the answer. Tickets to this theater where you are treated like a person will cost you $11, the same or less than any other theater like Loews or AMC or Royal Crown Cola. Yes, the food and drink cost extra money, but still less than shitty concessions at a major theater chain. That massive bowl of delicious popcorn pictured above? $5. Three items off the “small plates” menu will cost you $15, which is about as much or less than three boxes of candy anywhere else. And this food was cooked by a person that very same day!

Gone are the days where you stuff your pants with contraband snacks and soda and sneak uncomfortably into the theater! Gone are the days where you must awkwardly explain the rogue Sour Patch Kid stuck to your underpants! Finally we are free!!

My love for eating food in places where you wouldn’t normally (a movie theater, while standing, etc.) is enough to make me want to hug Nitehawk Cinema. But wait! There’s more! In addition to totally reasonable ticket prices, awesome atmosphere (& overall coolness), and tasty eats, this place features nice, friendly service and a great film selection. After all the great things I’ve said about the food, you could probably give a shit about what movie you’re seeing. Honestly, I could be sitting down for Cars 2 and as long as I had some mini corn dogs, would probably have a wonderful time.

But you won’t have to sit through Cars 2! You will be able to choose from good movies! Independent ones. We saw Submarine on Saturday night – a cheeky, British/Welsh coming-of-age film about a teenage boy and his struggles with parental discord and first love. You know, life.

Anyway, we really enjoyed the movie and the “pre-screening show” that Nitehawk provides beforehand! Before the movie, instead of watching stupid “first look” features about crap movies you don’t want to see, or way-too-easy trivia (“What character did Matthew Perry play on Friends?” Seriously? C’mon) you will be treated to thematically appropriate snippets like music videos, short film clips, and even vintage advertisements. Our pre-screening show included the Portishead music video for “Only You,” so that’s about all I needed to see (thematic because they are British!)

On the one hand, I am happy to be so excited about a new place. On the other hand, I feel a little depressed that either I am so simple that things like good food and friendly service excite me, or that the world is so generally shitty that these things are worth getting excited about. I guess it doesn’t really matter, because I have found my one and only.

Nitehawk Cinema, will you marry me?

Nitehawk Cinema
136 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn NY 11211
between Berry & Wythe
Williamsburg
T (718) 384-3980